After much delay and a crazy week, I bring you to the conclusion of my four week creative habit!
The beginning of the week consisted of digital sketches of wolves from photographs and videos. They were quick and rough. I included a couple of cubs in this group as well!
I proceeded to do some longer, traditional sketches. A couple of these were drawn from photos I took about 4 year ago of wolves at the Hershey Park Zoo. I had almost forgotten about them, but I’m glad I found them. It makes me a bit uncomfortable to draw from photographs I didn’t take (unless I’m taking small aspects from several photos. Maybe that was instilled with me in high school by my art teacher. Either way, it was a relief to have my own sources to work from and I was much happier with the results of these drawings.
I decided to develop one of the sketches I did in this series to a short 1 hour speed painting. This is the first development For the final I took the second wolf out since his proportions were a bit wonky. I gave it a wide canvas for a sort of cinematic look.
I then did a longer piece which took me about two hours time.
Overall I learned a lot about my own abilities as well a creating for the sake of creating. I often go into things with a grand idea or expectation about how I want the end result to be. Honestly, it’s been the biggest enemy of my ability to produce work. I have countless, unfinished digital drawings and paintings in my computer. They depress me every time I see them. I had such big hopes and vision and then nothing was doing it justice. What I instead need to do is go “Hey, I’m gonna do a 2 hour self portrait.” That’s it. That’s all. Not, “I’m going to do a self portrait featuring symbolism of feminist struggle and it will make people cry with it supreme beauty.” Sure, that piece might come some day, but for god’s sake I’d go days without drawing and honestly, I feel that no one in this school (especially me) knows my artistic abilities because I think I have nothing to show for myself because the pieces don’t reflect my perfect vision of them–and I’m right. What I need to do, however, i loosen the hell up and toss those illusions of grandeur in the cupboard for another time. What I need is practice. What I need is to get all of the bad work out of me. I need humility and critique and to keep pushing myself to create, create, create! This destructive cycle of constantly disappointing myself for no reason is making me crazy and quite frankly, it made me not want to create almost at all this semester. It was a struggle of epic, frustrating proportions.
Then along came a little project called the Creative Habit; and I finally feel like I can breath a little again. Little by little I have to keep making. It’s the only way I’m going to learn. I want to thank my instructors and peers for their encouragement throughout my process. I’d also like the thank myself for following through. It may sound silly, but I don’t remember the last time I thanked myself for anything.
Hope to share more creative habits with you all in the future, but it’s almost time for the holidays and to eat some better meals then Cheez-Its and ramen.
Next I’ll be posting and reflecting on my improvement and best work!